I have been dancing since I was three years old.  Ballet, tap, contemporary, jazz.  Nothing makes me feel more alive, more creative, more in tune with who I am than when I am dancing.  I miss it.  I performed in my last recital when I was 16 weeks pregnant with Brees.  When fall classes started, I was too far into my pregnancy to continue.  I told myself that I would start again this spring, but trying to balance work, breastfeeding, and enjoying my children at this precious age has taken priority.  It’s such a difficult thing, the balance.  Maintaining who you are while still giving of yourself to all who need you.  It sometimes makes for some very difficult decisions.

Not that I’m not loving where I am in my life right now, though.  I seriously couldn’t be happier.  I absolutely love being a nurse and am so thankful to have a career that is so fulfilling and also offers my family financial security and benefits.  And on the four days a week that I am not working, I get to be home with my sweet angel baby and volunteer at Isabelle’s school.  What a blessing to be able to work and still be involved in my children’s daily lives!!

But I’m itching to strap on a pair of ballet shoes.  I’m craving that physical creativity.  There’s a little voice inside my head that doesn’t want me to forget that part of myself.

So, maybe it’s time to listen to that voice, use it as motivation, let it fuel me for the months ahead.  Is it feasible to go back to dance class right now?  Probably not.  Does that mean that the opportunity won’t present itself again in the future?  Hell no!!  There will be a time, a season, when I will run back onto that stage with a vengeance!  There will be a season when my kids are a little older, my job more conducive, my time more flexible.  And when that happens, I will dust off my gear, warm up these old bones, and DANCE!!!!  I will get back into the medium that allows me to be an artist, affords me the chance to have something that is all mine…

And I will be a better mother for it.  Because I will be showing my girls what it means to be dedicated to a passion.  I will encourage them to never stop doing the things that you love, even if it means you have to keep it tucked away for a while….

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2 Responses to Inspire

  1. charlie says:

    I love this!! You will be back on the stage before you know it. What I love about knowing yourself is you honor the place you are in. Tis the season to be in the mommy moment and next season–well, who knows!!

    I think sometimes we all need hibernation from our passion to get ready for the explosion that comes with greeting them again! And who is to say that dancing has to be done in a studio or on a stage?? I am sure you dance more than you think you do!!

  2. I love that, “the explosion”!! I think the same of you and your writing. And you are right, there is a lot of dancing happening in this house, whether it’s Isabelle and I jamming out to Hannah Montana or Shawn and I slow dancing in the kitchen while doing the dishes. That, for now, is my dance. The dance of mommy and wife and being present in the moment.

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